


Forgive me, Ma'am

by idektvshows



Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hope, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 14:55:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16120841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idektvshows/pseuds/idektvshows
Summary: Set after the unspeakable event at the end of episode 3





	Forgive me, Ma'am

**Author's Note:**

> Another fix it fic because why not?? 
> 
> I appreciate all feedback so feel free to leave comments :D

 

 

_“Forgive me ma’am” he started, uncertainly. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” he continued indecisively. “We don’t know who the leak is” he informed her sternly_.

_“Well in that case, we’ll find out either way then, won’t we?” she snarled, matter-of-factly_

 

 

 

“As a matter of security and in light of the most recent heinous  threat on my life, I've had no choice but to result to this." she spoke bluntly from her seated position. Standing eventually, slowly and painfully, she attempted to demonstrate and attain some assertiveness in her stance however, being in such daunted pain she had to clutch on everything and anything to prevent buckling at the knees. 

 "I am truly and deeply sorry and full of regret for any unruly distress caused." she apologised sincerely but nonchalantly as this wasn't the time for her emotions to run wild.

 

_It all made sense now._

_It made sense why he was stood apprehensively at first, relieved after, in the room, looking at a worn out and injured Julia Montague._

_It made sense why they ordered him to turn his phone off including checking for any tracking and listening devices._

_It made sense why he was required to hand his phone and battery over before he even left the hospital._

_It made sense why they wouldn’t say a word about her, regarding her fate, or any words to him for that matter._

_It made sense why his insistent questions were unanswered._

_It made sense._

 

“Ma’am” he spoke calmly yet full of understanding.

Underneath for the both of them was where the emotions were all at though, and they both knew that. Having served in the army and the intense and life changing training he received, he was conditioned to not let any situation get the better of him. Similarly with Julia and the immediate yet dangerous threats made and imposed on her life, she too didn't have time to feel. Being in the cabinet was trying enough in itself, when almost every politician or minister coming into contact with her was gunning for her job or to discredit or overrule her at any given moment. But when it all boiled down to it, as a consequence, David was beyond relieved to see her alive and well, what he was not happy about was the shell of a woman, fragile and broken she appeared to have become as a direct result of the crimes attempted against her. 

He watched in agony as she gripped the table, wincing in pain, it being visibly as well as audibly, no one else in the room with her, he attempted to go in pursuit of her but was met by her hand out to him, stopping him.

“No” she warned, stubbornly hissing at him. “I am fine” she snapped, averting her eyes, anywhere but him, she looked down in front of her, trying her hardest to rein in the significant and resentful emotions she felt as a direct ramification of what happened. She wasn't angry at him, she was in love with him, but she was furious and antagonistic at those kept trying and trying to do away with her. 

“As a matter of my life being at stake, to the country as of 9am tomorrow, I will be referred to as dead.” she looked him in the eyes painfully and he nodded nonchalantly, she brushed it off as his professionalism and continued. “Surprisingly this decision came from above my head, would you believe it” she scoffed ludicrously, finding the whole concept hilarious because mostly she had control and if she didn't she would always try intimidation to attain the reins of control.  “But as luck would have it, you’re here because," _I might regret this?_ she pondered for a fleeting moment before continuing, “-Because you are the only one who I trust and have grown fond of” she explained carefully skirting around and selecting certain words which would either arise suspicion or that may incriminate her or them both. She looked him directly in the eyes, her heart beating a little faster, he had that affect on her and she hated it, luckily she was masterful at concealing her feelings. “But I’ll assume if my location gets leaked or I die within the next few weeks, we’ll soon find out who is responsible” she finished ambiguously and he nodded, silently again, his facial features not conveying much at all. She looked away from him, like she would've done in any other situation if she was dismissing him, she moved a few documents from the table - he observed, seeing her shaking, unable to control her unsteady rhythm. 

“They didn’t tell me anything, for the record, ma’am” he informed factually, having read between the lines. 

“That's because they’re doing their jobs.” she replied plainly and glanced over to the door.

“Ma’am” he replied, welcoming her perspective. 

“You can drop the act. They bloody know” she notified him, huffing at the obliviousness he appeared to maintain and then suddenly winced in pain, she lost her balance.

“You’re injured, you should sit and rest” he proclaimed, ignoring and disregarding her protests and sprung into action, taking her hand and supporting her back without a second thought, he slowly helped her back onto the sofa.

“How very chivalrous of you” she noted, smirking as he offered her a comforting smile and sat beside her protectively. 

“I fought tooth and nail for you.. to get you here - they’re not dumb, they’re highly intelligent and they know that my demands and desperation for you to be here is more than just out of politeness and common courtesy.” she whispered, explaining thoroughly and gently caressed his cheek with her bruised hand.

“Aye, I understand” he interpreted and naturally turned his head into her touch, savouring this short-lived moment of emotion.

“We don't have to pretend anymore. It’s over.” she smiled exhaling what felt like a burden upon her shoulders, she leaned into him, fighting against the pain she was experiencing. “Your poor face” she traced over his cuts ever so delicately. “I am so sorry this happened to you” she spoke unguarded, her voice weakening, threatening to crack, she wanted to cry for all the pain she had inflicted on him but instead she remained fixed and composed - her face full of regret and guilt.

“I should be the one apologising, I didn’t-” he started, insistent but then was interrupted by her fingers against his lips, silencing him.

“Do not.” she shook her head adamantly.

“Julia, about what you said before-” he started but found it difficult to verbalise.

She knew immediately what he was referring to, not wanting to directly inflict anything upon him, she was careful to avoid using sensitive words. “I understand if you don’t.. Feel the same” she swallowed in trepidation, masking her anxieties with a soft smile. “I know better than to mix pleasure with politics and expect a remotely happy outcome” she laughed at how naive and foolish she sounded.

“If you would just let me get a word in” he mocked discontent. “I understand why you did what you did, I know that if you thought my kids, or any kids for that matter, were in imminent danger, that you’d have put different preventative measures in place. I appreciated your honesty before we got blown to smithereens - all I’ve wanted is honesty from politicians and you have been the first to provide me with that." he assured her wholly with a definite squeeze of her hands. "I wanted you to know that I choose to be right beside you, ppo or not” he declared, unwavering, unaffected by the ramifications of his statement to any outside eyes and ears.

Seeing her expression change from regret and guilt to pure relief and unguarded happiness, made it all worthwhile. She responded in the only way she knew best, the most appropriate way; she kissed him softly taking his hand into hers, she intertwined her fingers with his. No need to be gingerly in her approach anymore. She closed her eyes and savoured this moment before opening them, sadness kicking in as she knew what had to come next. 

“You understand tomorrow when you go back, I have to play dead until you find those responsible - don’t you?" she questioned. She didn't want him to leave, the last place she wanted him was 40 miles away from her but head over matter and all that she justified and stubbornly told herself. She could see in his eyes he didn't want to leave but she could also see he understood and would do what was required to ensure her safety and survival. "You cannot tell anyone I am alive, or where I am. Not even your boss, your kids..” she informed him in the strictest of confidence.

“Aye, I know” he reassured her calmly whilst maintaining composure.  “I wouldn’t risk that. You mean too much to me” he articulated and kissed her hand conveying his promises and his word.

The way he was with her now was a breath of fresh air, he was so gentle and _loving,_ two things she hadn't had in a long time.

“Will you stay and hold me tonight?” slightly afraid of how he might respond but nevertheless, wearing her heart on her sleeve.

“I will” he accepted her proposal by kissing her forehead, the kiss promising all sorts, including to take the tension and fear that had layered up inside her frail and fractured body. 

“How about now?” she barely even whispered, she felt silly asking him such a question but regardless she fought against her what was expected of her vs what she needed.

Accepting her request, he stood, removed his jacket before he lifted her gently into his arms, careful not to cause her any unnecessary pain. She rested her head against his shoulder, face against his chest as he enveloped her tightly in his embrace and slowly drifted off to the sound of his beating heart.


End file.
